How to say goodbye
by Sherlock's mind
Summary: Sherlock gose to war with John and is faced with the most Difficult decision of his life. Johnlock(twords the very end) P.S grab the tissues


Disclaimer: I'm very dyslexic mind the spelling .

John jerked up out of his sleep in a cold swet, vivid images of the war still running through his mind, the defining sound of explosions echoing in his skull. John's whole body started to freak out, his breathing dubbed in speed, and his whole body started to tremble. John sat-up completely unaware of his surroundings, not entirely shure what his body was interacting with. He felt curly hair between his fingers, something clinging on to his other hand for dear life, and a heavy weight pushing down on his chest. John didn't know who or what it was, all he knew is he needed it off him because it was stopping him from breathing.

John was just about to throw the heavy thing off of him then he herd a loud screech that made John's ears ring. What ever is on him was clearly in immense pain. Then a trembling voice came rising out of the dark.

"I-I made a vowel."

It was Sherlock's voice. Johns eyes focused on the thing that his best friends voice came from, frightened by the condition of the man that layed in his lap. Sherlock's face looked up at him blood dripping from a cut on the top of his head. As the rest of Sherlock's body came into view so did a battle field littered with soldiers either dying,or dead. Sherlock's body was dressed in a camouflage uniform one similar to the one john was wearing.

"O shit, fuck Sherlock what happened" John tryed to reach up but his arms where tied to a tree, the same went for his chest.

"It was either me or you" Sherlock whimpered as he tilted his head to a hole in his chest his uniform stained with blood. John spotted a med kit strapped to the back of a dead Union soldier.

"Sherlock? Hey look at me" Sherlock's head shook as he brought it up to look at John. "Hey buddy I can't move do you see that med kit attached to that mans back?"

"The White bag?" Sherlock mumbled in the direction of the body.

"Yes! That's it if you would get that for me I can save you" John said through a clearly forced smile, in a attempt at trying to keep Sherlock's hope.

Sherlock screamed bloody murder as he tryed to rolled his body off of johns lap, John's leg follow closely behind him. As soon as john's leg moved a piercing pain came shooting up John's leg.

"Fuck Sherlock, stop, stop it lay back down!"

Sherlock did as he was told plopping his body back onto the captains.

"What the hell just happened?" Sherlock breathed heavily through the pain.

"Shut up Sherlock let me think." John chuckled to himself the tables have turned, then John's mind stopped him, you can't giggle your about to die.

"Ok," John spoke to himself. "Sherlock's hands are zip tied around his back, but also to my leg and whenever he moves my leg it is sent into pain. Shit, of course. The I love you more torcher device" John's voice was practically a yell when he said the last part of the sentence.

"The what?" Sherlock said through a smile.

John's expression dropped from worried to the such a blood curling expression of fear. Sherlock cought a glimpse at John's face and it quickly sent him into a panic.

"John what the fuck dose that mean?" Sherlock started to tremble once more with fright.

"This was a tactic that terrorist used to kill two of my best war buddy's. We where captured and tortured the terrorists found out that my two friends were gay and they had a romantic relationship with each other. So they strapped on of men to the wall 'Michael' and the other with there hands behind his back 'Brock'. They brought in these special kind of zip-ties that where lined with blades on the inside, they tied it around Michael's leg and then the "tightening thing" went around the zip-ties on Brock,if he where to move the blaids would get deeper into Michael's leg, and if he where to get up it would, chop off the leg. They shot the Brock then left a med kit on the opposite side of the room the only way to get it was that Brock would stand up, cutting off Michael's leg, saving him self the other man would bleed to death. It was a test of love, who would die? That was the question. Brock loved Michael too much to kill him so he died from the bullet in his chest."

"Holy shit, now it's my tern to decide" Sherlock's tears spilling down the side of his face mixing with the blood streaming from the top of his head.

"Well there's no choice I'm the one who has to-" John was cut off before he could even finish the thought.

"No! No! No!" Sherlock spat out the words. "This is not how it will end it can't end like this" As Sherlock said the words he berried his face into John's chest.

"But you will die Sherlock, you will, and I have to watch it happen to you, I can't do that I just can't ." John's hand that was in Sherlock's hair pulled the knots lose from the bloody curls. John brought his head as close as he could to Sherlock's and started sobbing.

"Sherlock," John said in his soft voice "you have to do this I can't watch the person I love die in my lap."

Sherlock looked up at John, and his eyes softened "you love me?"

"Of course I do you idiot." John breathed out through crys. "And if we ever get out of this god forsaken place then I'll show you how much I do" John kissed the top of Sherlock's head berly reaching.

After John told Sherlock that he shut his eyes tight as more tears started to flood his face "John, I love you too I always have and I always will." Sherlock started to look around frantically to see If he could find anything that could cut their restraints he found a soldier with a big pocket knife. Sherlock pointed it out to John.

"Ok Sherlock let's see if your foot could catch it. On the count of three I'm going to bring my leg up so upYou will have room to slide over to it. 1, 2, 3,"

As soon as John reached three his leg raised up with Sherlock's hands and Sherlock scooted over to the soldier as close as he could. John released a blood curling screem as something dripped down Sherlock's hands.

"Fuck I'm sorry John" Sherlock stopped moving trying not to cause John anymore pain.

John was breathing heavily whimpering as blood rushed from his body.

"John! I can reach it, catch." Sherlock kicked his foot up in an awkward position passing the knife to John.

"O my god!" John said in a sigh of relief his hands gripping the wooden protection concealing the knife he flipped it open…

"No! No no no no NOOO!" John elaborated ever 'no' with the smack of the 'knife' onto the ground, then he started to cry.

"What is it John what's wrong." Sherlock looked up at John with a blood draining worried look. John held up the knife to where Sherlock could see it. But it wasn't a knife, it was wha was left of a knife only a quarter of the blaid remained it was probably snapped off wile it was being driven into someone.

"Oh no, John, o no." Sherlock berried his face back into John chest and the dark consumed him.

John felt Sherlock go completely limp on his chest, his hart dropped.

"Fuck, Sherlock! Sherlock come on I need you to wake up for me please, don't leave me alone, not again." John patted Sherlock's head trying to wake him up. "Sherlock!" John yelled his name as loud as possible. Sherlock's whole body jerked up, John could feel the blaids go deeper into his thigh cause a screem to be drawn out of his mouth, a whole new coat of blood covered Sherlock's hands.

"Sorry John so sorry." Sherlock brought his hands up above from where John's leg was being impaled and clasped his hands tightly around John's thigh, stopping the bleeding.

"Sherlock you need to get up and finish me off" John huffed the words. "you can cope with the pain of losing me, I fear if I loose you I wouldn't last a month."

"John no I can't, I lov-"

"More people love you then me!" John yelled cutting off Sherlock.

"Now Watson we both know that isn't true."

"I know it is because when you did that terrible thing all our friends stopped talking to me Mrs.H was the only one who came over, and Lestrade only came to me when I held a gun in my hand and asked him to come and save me. Don't you get it Sherlock I have no family but Rosie and I have no real friends but you."

"John, stop this, stop that,I can't let you die."

"Sherlock I'm going to die anyways I have already lost too much blood and what happens to me after you die. I will earth bleed out or starve to death."

Sherlock looked up at John looking down on him." I will never forgive myself."

"If you die I will never forgive you." John said through a very sad smile then tears started to flood John's and Sherlock face "look after Rosie, eat, sleep, don't kill your self doing any experiment's and promise me this one thing, don't be alone, promise me."

"I-I-I p-promise" Sherlock berried his face into John's chest once more kissing it over and over, until John's hand that was in Sherlock's hair came down forcing Sherlock to look at him and with as much affection as possible the two men kissed pressing their faces together. And for just a moment Sherlock forgot about everything, it was just him and John.

"I love you" Sherlock said through the kiss and tears.

"I love you too"

And just as the moment started it stopped quickly.

"Goodbye, John Watson."

"I will see you around Sherlock Holmes."

Sherlock stumbled into a kneeling position onto the ground not cause I got John any pain yet. Sherlock shut his eyes tight as tears came flowing down.

With one swift motion Sherlock stood up.

Crack.

Sherlock could hear John kicking around in the dirt as his only love's screaming filled the air.

And with one hart braking last squill silence fell and Sherlock's World shattered.


End file.
